Tags
abuse, author, clothes, crab walk, date, dinner, future, neglect, past, Tami Clayton, therapy, trauma, YA
In last week’s “Would You Rather…?” question, I asked readers to comment on which they would choose to be able to do: alter humankind’s past or have the ability to see into humankind’s future. There were some really thoughtful answers (which you can read about here) as well as abstentions from choosing one over the other.
image credit ~ octaviosn via Flickr
What most people agreed on was that changing even one thing, whether in the past or in the present due to knowledge about the future, is a very complex matter because we don’t know what else will change as a result. And, like in the Butterfly Effect (as one reader pointed out), everything is connected, even if it’s only by the tiniest of threads.
So how is one to choose?
Fair warning: Things are gonna get serious and heavy for a minute.
*drags out the soap box and dusts it off*
image credit ~ ColorblindRain via Flickr
When I wrote the question last week, I had not yet decided what I would choose. But as I read some of the replies, it became clearer to me what I would choose and why. You see, as I’ve previously shared, I work in the mental health field with kids and families. On a daily basis, I hear about the horrific things that have been done to kids and the equally horrible things that have been done to their parents when they were children. Physical, emotional, sexual and verbal abuse, neglect, domestic violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, and homelessness all take a heavy toll on the human psyche, on our ability to trust, and to see ourselves as worthy of giving and receiving love.
And while people can heal from these atrocities, there are always residual doubts and lingering effects. Kids, especially, are amazingly resilient, but the trauma they go through literally changes their brain chemistry in ways from which they may never fully recover if not given proper treatment. I’ve seen the after effects of trauma in both kids and adults. I know the damage it does. My own children have each endured their own traumas in early childhood before they were adopted. Close friends have survived torment and all kinds of abuse while growing up. And there’s not a day that goes by that I haven’t wished I could erase all that pain for them, to make their world free from the stuff that haunts them.
I know there are some who say that the things we suffer through or triumph over makes us stronger, makes us who we are today. And to a certain extent I agree with that. In fact, I know that to be true for myself. But I also have not had to live in the shadows of abuse, neglect, and abandonment.
So when it comes to the senseless, traumatic experiences that some people are forced to go through, I’d be willing to alter the past to give them peace from their demons so they could have a more gentle, nurturing, and loving start to their lives.
Perhaps I’m wrong for wanting that for someone else. It’s not my history, not my past, not my issues. Perhaps. Would there be consequences for this sort of mucking with time? Absolutely. But it’s a chance I’d be willing to take to ease the suffering of others if they wanted me to.
*places soapbox back in the closet*
And now, let’s lighten things up a bit, shall we? On to this week’s question:
You are about to walk into a large, crowded, upscale restaurant to have dinner with someone you adore, admire and have been dying to meet. The catch? You must do one of these two things in order to have the dinner take place:
Would you rather have to crab walk from the front door of the restaurant to the table in the way, way back where your dinner date is already seated and then out again at the end of dinner – OR – have to wear your clothes inside out and backwards for the duration of the dinner?
~*~
Which will you choose, bold readers? Contemplate your fate and then comment below. As always, I love to hear from you.
Tami Clayton 
Interesting post. And a rather impossible question at the end. Hmmmm. I’d rather crabwalk but I’d probably be wearing heels and a dress which might be rather… indelicate. 😉
Thanks, Trish! Yes, the crabwalk would be a bit more challenging to pull off in a dress and heels. I’m not so skilled at walking in heels, let alone crabwalking. 🙂
I would definitely change the past for someone else too. The things that happen to others affect us more than what has happened to ourselves, depending how bad those things are.
And clothes for sure, that’s easy. Just say it’s a new trend 😉
You make a good point – “The things that happen to others affect us more than what has happened to ourselves”. We’re all connected in one way or another, aren’t we?
The inside out/backwards clothes trend has a certain appeal, especially if you haven’t done the laundry lately. 😉
Yeah, I’m with Catherine. I’d put my clothes on inside out and backwards and paste on a smile so they’d know I was a trendsetter. Sharon Stone would do it that way….or maybe she’d crabwalk…in heels & a skirt, like Trish said…
😉
I would love to see some celebrities doing the crabwalk in heels and skirts, or in tuxedos and top hats, as the case may be. I think THAT could be the new trend. 😉
I’d definitely have to go with the clothes inside out and backwards. Last week’s question was definitely difficult – there were so many options to think about. Not that you didn’t give us options this week–it’s just the joke’s on us.
Last week’s question was a challenging one to answer for me, too. This week’s question is a little lighter. Not that I’ve decided which way I would rather embarrass myself. The clothes option has it’s advantages depending on what you’re wearing.
Last weeks question stuck in my noggin. I thought about it — quite a bit. And, yes. I would love to change the past (more importantly, the current present) for those who suffer(ed) horrific physical and emotional abuse.
That would have been my answer had my mind not gone on a twisted path considering who might not have been born had A not happened to B, which yielded C and then…
God bless you, Tami! I don’t know how you handle daily exposure to crimes and abuse against children. You are a beacon on hope for them. The world needs more Tami Claytons.
Thank you, Gloria. I think the world we be a wee bit scarier if there were more Tami Claytons, though chocolate artisans would see a sharp increase in business, that’s for certain. 😉
Like you, I thought about the if A had been in that exact spot to meet B and so forth. But to be able to take away the senseless, tragic violence of the past was too tempting to ignore. I’ve often wished I had vampire-like powers to erase from people’s minds the trauma that so haunts them.
Okay. On to this week’s question…
I would most assuredly go with clothes inside out and backwards because (1) the person I’m dying to meet might bolt before I crab-walked my way to the table, (2) I have control over what I choose to wear, and (3) you did not say I couldn’t wear a sticky note that says, “Clothes intentionally catawampus for a charitable cause. Your donations to my dinner companion will be used to purchase clothes for the needy.”
Plus, I could sew new tags to the outside of the dress with a high-end designer brand and a smaller size.
[Note to self: Confirm clipping tags is not a felonious assault on clothes.]
[Appended Note to self: Check Nordstrom dressing rooms for hidden cameras.]
You’ve got a solid plan. I like the note idea and turning the dinner into a charitable event. Nicely done! I don’t believe sewing new tags into clothes is a felony, but just in case you should wear a disguise. You can borrow one of mine. 🙂
Er, define crab walk?
I think I’d choose that because it would be over more quickly, and by the end of the evening I’d either be ‘socially lubricated’ enough not to care (I presume there’s wine at this dinner?) and besides on such good terms with said guest I’d make them do it too.
A crab walk is like crawling, except your body is facing upwards instead of downwards and you’re “walking” on your hands and feet. Is there another name for that in Australia?
Being “socially lubricated” will certainly make crab walking a bit more fun, especially if you can get your dinner date to do it, too. Maybe the whole restaurant will get in on it and everyone will be walking around that way. 🙂
I have to say I agree with you abt changing the past for the reasons that you state. Future consequences be damned. What you do is amazing. Truly.
Alright, with that said ~ this week’s question. Hilarious! ‘Cause I’m picturing it in my head.
I’ll be crabwalking. In fact, my crabwalking will be so impressive that the diners will be cheering me on!
But hey, at least I’ll have my clothes on the right way 😉
Thanks, Kim. I’m not doing as much direct service these days so I defer some kudos to my colleagues whose tireless efforts are truly inspiring.
If your crab walk is as impressive as you say, then I’m certain the others in the restaurant will be cheering you on. I’m laughing as I picture y’all out there crab walking your way through restaurants across the globe. What a funny flash mob scene that would be! 🙂
I think I’ve done the clothes thing before. So, yeah. That was easy. Crab walking might be the way to “make an entrance”, but I’ll opt for looking like I dressed in the dark.
I’m so enjoying reading what people choose with this one. I think you could make an entrance depending on what you choose to wear inside out. 😉
The clothes, for sure. And I’d make sure to pick a place where the ambient lighting is dim and sit in a shadowy corner.
How clever of you to think of the lighting. Good one!
I’d go with the inside out backwards attire…actually I think I unknowingly survived a recent get-together where I was wearing “inside out and backward” all evening! What surprised me, was no one said anything all evening, and I realized my error when I got home.
Seriously? No one said anything about your clothes? I wonder if at the next get-together with those same people you’ll notice they’re now wearing clothes inside out/backwards. You are, after all, a trendsetter. 😉
I think I’ll go with the crabwalk. If I have to embarrass myself, I’d rather do it performance-art style than leave anyone thinking my gaffe was unintentional. Besides, my hubby would be the one waiting at the table, and he’s seasoned enough to expect that sort of thing from me by now. 😀
Welcome, Brandy! The crab walk would definitely give you a chance for improv performance art. There’s all kinds of ways to pull that one off, isn’t there?