After reading your letter last week, I can tell you’re coping well with the likes of TWMNBNG Insurance Co. Your new friends, Denial and Avoidance, sound like very helpful mates. And, in case you’re wondering, Shoshana is doing well at the Secret Unicorn Sanctuary and she sends her love.
Life is getting busier for us both, isn’t it? Between the bike race, the Cheltenham Literary Festival, film festivals and the Crime Thriller Awards (many thanks, by the way, for the congratulations on winning Best Actor), I’ve been incredibly busy this past month.
You’re no slouch either, friend. I’m impressed you signed up for National Novel Writing Month, or what you writerly types call NaNoWriMo. An entire month of getting hundreds and hundreds of words down on the page every day is quite the undertaking. I know you’ve been busy with all of the prep that goes into getting ready for an endeavour like that. How fantastic for you to get that new novel cranked out by the end of November. And then it will be time for an adventure.
I realise this all means you’ll be sequestered in the writing cave for even longer periods of time and will be practically glued to your laptop over the next month. I do worry, though, how you will sustain such an intense and long bout of writing without seeing the outside world or donning your Cat Woman suit even once. Telling me that you’ll be just fine because you’ll be consuming copious amounts of the Three Major Food Groups for Writers – coffee, tea, and chocolate – does not actually reassure me. And because the location of the writing cave is still an enigma to me, I am unable to send you things to better balance your diet, like real food or water.
So, on the chance you should venture out of the writing cave to the cafe (you know the one), the barista may hand you a parcel with your name on it that may or may not be from me. Also, there may or may not be perishable items in it that you might recognise as “fruits” and “vegetables”.
Also, out of care and concern for you, I am submitting what I believe is one of the more important writing cave theme song suggestions. I hope you will use this one often during the month of November:
Don’t worry about marking a few extra points for me on the Bonus Points Board in the kasbah for choosing the version of this song with James Taylor. I can take care of that the next time I’m there. You’re welcome.
Actually, why don’t I look after the kasbah for you while you are so busily at work on your novel in November? Remember how well everything went the last time you left me the keys to the kasbah? I can certainly keep everything up to your high standards with class, grace, and the occasional dance party. There may even be a surprise left for you from time to time. Just sayin’.
The kasbah will be in good hands, trust me. I do hope you’ll take me up on this brilliant idea. I look forward to receiving those keys in the post in the very near future.
*Editor’s note: The views, ideas, and opinions expressed in the Letters from Benedict series are works of fiction and obviously did not come from the actor himself. This series is just my way of expressing adoration for Mr. Cumberbatch and his work and is not intended to be seen or read as a true collaborative writing endeavor with him.