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Dear Tami,

First, I’m so glad to hear things are shaping up with your new novel. I’ve been meaning to ask if there are any Brits in this new novel because your previous novel seemed to have a serious lack of them. No judgement, just an observation. If you’re hesitant to include a British character because of dialect issues or local idioms tripping you up, I’d be happy to offer my assistance. Just say the word (pun intended) and I’m there.

Second, yes, it was disappointing that Sherlock didn’t win even one Emmy. And like you, I do not have the faintest clue what Kevin Costner was trying to say during his acceptance speech for Best Actor. Thank you for saying you thought I could have given a better speech if I had won the Emmy. (I’m paraphrasing here – I think you’d agree what you originally said wasn’t entirely PG-13.)

Benedict Cumberbatch

Third, I will happily abide by the sanctity of the writing cave and kasbah whenever Brainstorming sessions are taking place. I’m in total support of chalk drawings, not only of John Denver, but also of an entire montage of your favorite 70’s folk singers. I’d even get down on the pavement and help you draw it while singing 70’s folk songs and wearing a button that says “Happiness = Chalk Drawings of John Denver & Co.”. Because I’m just that kind of guy.

Fourth, I continue to be concerned about you spending long hours in the writing cave. The Year of Fire and Underwear? Really?

Fifth, isn’t today’s post a major milestone for the kasbah – the 99th post? What an honor to have my letter be featured on such a momentous occasion. Congratulations, friend. No, no, I couldn’t possibly take any of the credit. Well, I did write a small portion of these (21 letters from me to you, to be exact), but you did edit them (and scrupulously I might add).

We should celebrate your achievement and what better way to do that than have a party right there in the writing cave! I’ll take care of the music, food, and drinks. All you have to do is send out the invitations with explicit directions. Since I’m in the States working on a film now, you won’t have to pay extra for international postage on mine. Just sayin’.

So, in honor of your 99th blog post, I propose we start the party off with 99 Red Balloons:

oOo

oOo

Yes, I know the song is about war and lost dreams. Don’t worry, you won’t be able to focus on the meaning of the lyrics for long because you’ll be trying to find ways to get the song out of your head. Apologies for that. I hope that by posting your favorite German version, you’ll not only be able to forgive me, but you’ll also consider adding my name to the Bonus Points Board in the kasbah. No need to commit to a certain amount of points now. I’ll just check the Board when I arrive for the party.

Benedict Cumberbatch, photo by Ian Derry

Right after you send those directions to the cave.

Jubilantly yours,

Ben

~*~

*Editor’s note: The views, ideas, and opinions expressed in the Letters from Benedict series are works of fiction and obviously did not come from the actor himself. This series is just my way of expressing adoration for Mr. Cumberbatch and his work and is not intended to be seen or read as a true collaborative writing endeavor with him. 

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