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Heart plant

There’s a lot of Valentine’s Day gift-giving advice out there today. Much of it is good, some of it is even great.  Like this advice from vlogbrothers co-conspirator, John Green: (yes, you’re right – I can’t get enough of the vlogbrothers)

But I haven’t seen anyone hand out this bit of advice for all of you Valentine gift-givers, so I would be remiss if I didn’t share this. My advice may make me unpopular, but I consider it my civic duty to share this with you, my super-intelligent, charming readers:

Whatever you do, no matter what your well-intentioned, yet misguided heart tells you, do NOT buy a Snuggie for your loved one. Don’t. Do. It.

*Normally, this would be where I insert a fun little image, but I refuse to give the blanket-like-object-that-must-not-be-named anymore publicity.*

Now I realize some of you out there may be scoffing at this advice, maybe even arguing with the words you see here on your computer that the blanket-like-object-that-must-not-be-named is a perfectly fine invention, to which I say HA! (Actually, I would say lots of other things but I do want to keep this blog out of the gutter, at least for today.) It is an UNNECCESARY THING IN THIS WORLD.

But let me be clear: even if you are like me and you like a good blanket to cuddle up with, RESIST THE URGE TO EVER PURCHASE ONE OR EVEN HINT AT THE IDEA THAT the BLANKET-LIKE-THING-THAT-SHOULD-NOT-BE-NAMED WOULD BE GOOD TO GET AS A GIFT.

What should I do when I get cold and want to snuggle on the sofa while watching t.v. or read, you ask? Go grab a BLANKET and YOUR ROBE, like people have been doing for thousands of years centuries.  Blankets and robes have been around a looooong time and for good reason: they get the job done. No need for another silly marketing ploy designed to get you to part with your hard-earned money product to do what robes and blankets can do.

Now, for those of you who already own a one, there is hope.  Not all is lost.  I have four little words for you that will save you from a downward, hopeless spiral of purchasing unnecessary products for yourself or your loved ones:

GET RID OF IT.

Get it out of the house, donate it, burn it, use it as a flag on the float you’re building, whatever.  Just get rid of it.  Trust me, you’ll thank me and so will your sad, yet perfectly wearable robe and the ultra soft fleece blanket draped over your bed.

So join me in helping save the world from what could be the start of Armageddon.  Refuse to buy pointless, unnecessary things.

Better yet, support an author. Buy a book instead.

Book

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